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ChipsAhoyRocks

Betrayed
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1 min read
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Chocolate O.O

1 min read
Sooooo I baked a chocolate cheesecake last night for a chemistry project. Technically you don't have to bring in the cheesecake itself, just a picture, and then explain what happened. If you do bring it in, you have to distribute it among your classmates. I think it's a little too messy to bring in ;D
In other words, I tried it this morning and I'm selfish when it comes to chocolate XD
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( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart Friends
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Killed A Snake
( ) Stolen
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
( ) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
(x) Hated The Way You Look
( ) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
( ) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes  
( ) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs (though sometimes I really wish I could...)
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
( ) Played Chicken
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
( ) Cheated On A Test
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(x) Been Black Mailed
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
( ) Stabbed someone
( ) Done any drugs
(x) Made someone bleed
( ) Had sex in public
( ) Robbed someone
(x) Kissed someone
( ) Attempted suicide

If you have 00-9 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 10-20 ... write [I'm below average]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be dead]
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How could something so beautiful become so ugly so fast?
If only the precious things in life would last.
I want to give you one last try,
But all you do is make me cry.
You make me feel like I'm one foot tall,
And push me down and make me crawl.
I've made my decision, and to it, I'm stuck.
I have to pretend like I don't give a fuck.
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My Reasons

3 min read
Every time...
I woke up this morning and decided to clean my room right? I found a letter that my little 11 year old sister wrote for me after I had run away. She basically told me that she would miss me and remember me as who I am forever and asked me to come back. She begged me not to forget her too.... that part tears me up because the last thing in the world that I want her to do, is think I forgot about her. But then by the end of the letter, I usually start hardcore crying because the last thing she says is that she wants me to remember that she would tuck me in every night and kiss my cheek before I close my eyes... I should be the one tucking HER in at night. That's what kills me. It's not that I'm worried about my parents treating them badly because, to be honest, I'm not. My parents treat my sisters a lot better than they treated me because they think I'm a trouble maker. What gets me upset, is that I have failed them as an older sister. I'm supposed to always be there for them, no matter what. I treat them almost like I would treat my own kids...
I'm usually the one who consoles them when they're upset. I would hold them when they were crying and cradle them and even sing or hum to them sometimes. Even at the risk of me getting in trouble. There were times that my parents would tell me to leave them alone because they needed to stop 'being a baby' but I would comfort them anyways. Because trust me, I know what it is like to not be comforted. It's lonely and it just makes you feel worse. Just having someone tell you that it is going to be okay makes you feel at least a little bit better because you know somebody actually gives a shit enough to try and help you feel better.
I would promise them that everything would be okay. My oldest sister came to me for advice... for help. I built them up and encouraged them. They looked up to me... and I failed them.
Now they cry at night because of me... because they miss me. And that bothers me enough to the point that sometimes I wish I could go back. I put up with all the bullshit for years to prevent them from being upset. That was the only reason I stayed as long as I did.
Anyways, the point of this is that a lot of people think the reason I get so upset about missing my sisters is because I think my parents will treat them badly. But it's not. The reason is that I should be there for them and I'm not.
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Featured

Tumblr by ChipsAhoyRocks, journal

Chocolate O.O by ChipsAhoyRocks, journal

I'm a bad kid .-. by ChipsAhoyRocks, journal

Those Once Precious Things... by ChipsAhoyRocks, journal

My Reasons by ChipsAhoyRocks, journal